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Barely two months ago, I was the disciplinarian in my house and even my dogs knew it.

Basically, I live with mummy, my baby sister (she says she’s a big girl now but she’s only 5), and our dogs.

Whenever my little sister is doing something naughty or doesn’t want to go to school, mummy just has to call me and it is sorted. She just needs to hear my voice and she will come running. It is not because I beat her a lot. I can even say I’m her favourite big brother. lol. She is always in my room! I can’t get rid of her (I’ve tried). She wants to follow me whenever I leave the house. I have decided however, that she won’t follow me the provision store any longer. “Ostwin, I want this”, “I want that” “and this” she says, as she picks stuff off the shelves. “You can only have one” I say. In fact, I have beaten her just once but she’ll never forget it though. I cannot remember exactly what she did but I chided her. If I recall clearly after that she threw her slippers at me. I picked it up and smacked her with it. Never again. I overheard mummy tell her she’s really lucky because I don’t beat kids anymore. She really is lucky! 🙂

Halfway through 2015, one of my dogs died a little over a year after oldboy passed. It was the only foreign breed I had so I set out immediately to replace it just for the bass it had in its bark. It was a lazy dog though. It was always the last dog to bark whenever someone came around but whenever it did bark whoever you were, *you have to “make steady”* In August, I got a hybrid, a Doberman-Rottweiler mix. It has a dominant Doberman outlook but the aggression of the Rottweiler. This is where my disciplinarian status took shape.

For those who haven’t had to raise a dog you wouldn’t understand how much of a handful they can be. You’ll wake up to a daily dose of dog poop everywhere. Look, there is only one way to teach a dog not to poop in the front of the house. STICK ITS NOSE IN THE POOP! It might do it again a meter or so away but never the same spot! So this went on a while, whenever I woke up in the morning, I’d grab the dog before I headed out front, stick his nose in it and let him loose. I was the one who’d kick him for removing my stuff off the drying lines.(I never assigned him the task) I was also the one who had to put him in the cage. They hate the cage. A LOT! They can whine all day and night if that’s what it takes to get you to let them out. It worked almost every time too. They made so much noise I would get annoyed and let them out. So I was always “punishing them” yet I wasn’t the one feeding them at the time. So the moment I step out they all get lost!

This is how I know that my dogs knew me as the disciplinarian. There are two kitchens in my house. For the sake of clarity let’s call them the “inner kitchen” and the “outer kitchen”. In addition to the kitchen in the house there’s an adjoining kitchen made mostly from the square metallic pipes used for “burglar proofs” in most Ghanaian homes today. Mummy prefers to cook in the outer kitchen, (fresh air and all) and she mostly leaves the door of the outer kitchen open. That day she was sitting outside, at the entrance of the outer kitchen, with the dogs all over her and I was inside the outer kitchen going about my business. She got up to go inside and I was shocked by what happened afterwards. I am not exaggerating! I lifted my head as she entered the outer kitchen and vanished through the doors into the inner kitchen. All three dogs, walked to the entrance of the outer kitchen, raised their heads as if to look at me and immediately turned around and walked right out! They feared me but I didn’t care.

Early December 2015, I told mummy I was going to get another foreign breed (female this time) so that I would get rid of the local dogs when it was old enough to make some puppies. “How are you going to get rid of them?” , she asked me. Well, being Ghanaian myself too I asked her a question. “Have you forgotten there are people at Ashaiman who eat them?”. 🙊

So we got another puppy, a hybrid with a long lineage; its mother was German Shepherd and Rottweiler and its father was German Shepherd and Boerboel. Both with the dominant features of the German Shepherd though. I can call them mother and father, can’t I? lol. DON’T JUDGE MY DOG’S HERITAGE THOUGH; YOU ARE MOST LIKELY NO DIFFERENT. Your mother is born of Ivorian and Nzema parents and your father is born of Ewe and Togolese parents yet we still call you Ghanaian. Mmmtchew.

This creature is stealing my disciplinarian status. She follows me everywhere I go and still doesn’t understand all the commands. Yes, I teach all my dogs a bunch of little commands.

Up (with my palms open) –               They jump and put their fore feet in my palms.

Down –                                                Get off me

Out –                                                    Get out of the kitchen

Inside/ Get Inside –                            Whenever they go outside the house

All the others understand and obey these commands, but she won’t budge. When I say “Out” for example, everyone but her is gone and the rest end up coming back.

I need my status back!

Should I get a whip?