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There are two things every kid born in Ghana is supposed to know. Nobody will tell you but you just have to know it:

  1. Never fart in public.
  2. Don’t be around when someone does.

Many Ghanaian kids have fallen victim to the repercussions of not knowing these basic things.

Growing up, you would occasionally see a suddenΒ rush among a small group or crowd(depending on how “potent” the fart is) to grab one’s nose in between the the thumb and index fingers as if to prevent the oxygen from getting out of one’s nose. (it doesn’t help anyway) Then you would hear the following words: WHO DID THAT? After such an occurrence, you would learn the two rules stated above.

Usually the youngest person in the room is blamed for “spoiling the air”; The adults seldom accept that it was their doing. It is even worse when there is only one kid among several adults because in such a case, the question who did that will be followed immediately by a knock, usually to shut you up if you’re dreaming about saying that it wasn’t you. “Next time go to the bathroom”, you’ll hear after that.

Gradually, kids learn to shut up in such scenarios for fear of being victimised. One of my lecturers in the university, -KOO Armah- as he liked to be called (May His Soul Rest in Peace),Β  once said in class: “wo ne hwan kΙ” ka sΙ› ohene no ata” *Insert your own translation* 😜😜. There is a certain respect we’re supposed to accord our elders; you dare not point fingers.

Truth is, it is almost impossible to tell who did it.

We can identify farts under two categories;

  1. Identification by Sound; Loud or Silent
  2. Identification by Character: Gentle, Violent and Not-so-Violent

In most public scenarios, you’re more likely to experience the silent-violent/not-so-violent combination so you can almost never tell who did it. If you’re the first to sense it; quickly get out of the room. NB: (To everyone else your quick exit will mean you did it so don’t dream of returning immediately, Even the actual culprit will blame you also. Search for the “I-got-away-with-it smile, you’ll find it if you look hard enough) πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

In a few incidents you’ll see the adult own up but that is only because it falls in the Loud category. In such cases, you can only hold your nose until it passes. No questions asked.

Our old folks need to start practising what they preach. This applies to several other areas but I don’t want to go into it today… If you say the young generation shouldn’t do certain things, don’t do it yourself. BE A GOOD EXAMPLE!

As it stands now, you’re likely to get away with it if you’re (b)old enough. πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺ

Next time you’re in a public place and you want to fart, it appears there is only one question to ask yourself:

HOW OLD AM I?

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